The Maybe Baby Fund

And now, for a guest post written by one of our oldest friends and Lydia's god-mother!

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Dear Friends,
There have been so many times I’ve sat down at my computer to read this blog and I have been overwhelmed by the generosity of Jen and Micah. They have been so open in sharing both Lydia’s beautiful life and their journey through grief. With every entry there is this renewed yearning within me to do something for my friends, to somehow comfort them with the comfort I have so continuously received from the Lord.

After talking to others who love Jen and Micah, I have learned that I am not alone in this desire. That is why I am so excited to share with you an opportunity to bless them in a tangible way!

An account has been set up to help defer the substantial costs that accompany the adoption process. I have asked Jen to make this accessible on the blog so that those who feel led to come alongside this couple would have that opportunity. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I am so not as eloquent as Jen!
God Bless!
Sarah

If you’re willing to help Jen and Micah bring their Maybe Baby home, here’s how you can:

1. You can write a check to Micah Thompson and mail it to Church of the Apostles, P.O. Box 320791, Fairfield, CT 06825, ATTN: Micah Thompson

~or~

2. You can click on the lovely and brand new “Donate” button to donate with a credit card through PayPal.

We were hoping to be able to have donations sent to the adoption agency,but since the adoption is domestic, there is a chance the baby might come from a different state through a different agency. If that happens, there is a possibility the money sent to the adoption agency in CT won’t be transferable and the money donated would be lost. If we hear differently, we will let you know.

Thank you for taking time to consider giving and sharing in this journey!

Adoption Update

Remember a hundred years ago when I told you we were going to adopt and then didn't say anything more about it? Allow me to say some more things about it.

We have finished our homestudy! What this means is that all of our meetings and paperwork and health forms and financial statements have been compiled into one very lovely document put together by our social worker. The only thing that we are still missing is the completion of our background check, which can take a rather long time. We were told not to expect it to be done until sometime in June. Our social worker has come to visit the house and we are working on making a room for our Maybe Baby. That's what I'm calling it because I won't be convinced of it until we've had a baby in our house for probably at least a year.

Having decided to do a domestic adoption, once our background check has cleared, we will submit our Profile Book. This is a compilation of pictures of our life. I'll probably put some pages of it up before too long so those of you who don't live in adoption land will know what I mean. The Profile Book will go to our adoption agency and they will have several copies of it to give to other agencies as well. Once our book is submitted, that's when the real waiting starts.

We wait to be chosen by a birth mother. This could take two weeks or it could take two years. Micah has told me repeatedly not to get my hopes up that we will have a baby soon, but people, my hopes are up. I am trying to remember the lessons I learned before and after Lydia was born and this is what I keep repeating to myself - We will have exactly the child God wants us to have. If it takes two weeks or two years, I know our child is already set in the mind of God. And I don't want just any child. I want the child God has for us. So if Maybe Baby comes immediately or after a long wait, I am confident that it will be the right time for all of us.

That's pretty much it. We're so excited for the day when we can share that we will be bringing a new life into our home but until then, we hope that you will pray along with us for something things:

1. For patience and peace as we wait.
2. For our baby, wherever they are that they will be safe and protected from the time of their conception to the time of birth.
3. For our baby's birth mother - I've been thinking about her a lot. I don't know specifically what has happened in her life that will cause her to give her baby up, but I know those are probably not all good or easy things. I've been praying (and hope you will join me in my prayer) that she will be safe and protected in this time, that she would be surrounded by people who love and support her, and that she would be aware, even if she doesn't know Him, of God's love for her. I'm so excited to meet her.
4. That our background check would be completed soon.
5. That God would provide the funding needed to help us bring our baby home (there will be a guest post later in the week regarding this issue).
6. For wisdom and discernment - we are not without some decision making in this process. If we get chosen by a mother, there is still the opportunity for us to not adopt. Pray for a clear answer when the time comes.

I know there are more things, but I think that's enough for now. Thank you, friends, for being interested and for asking and for praying without being asked.

One Year

Before you read this post, I wanted to say thank you to all of you who wrote e-mails, facebook messages, sent notes or simply prayed for us as April 28th passed. As always, we felt sustained and comforted by your prayers and the knowledge that Lydia's life is still a part of yours. A special thanks to our friends Dawn and Ole who remembered our girl in this beautiful way while they were in Germany.

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We passed one year since Lydia died. It passed quietly, except for the twenty minutes I spent hysterical because the flowers we bought to put at her grave ended up being hideous. It is the only thing I can give her now and they were hideous. It caused a fairly substantial meltdown, but then the day was quiet. Micah and I spent the day together, watching the video of Lydia’s memorial service, the slideshow we made, videos of her. It was sad and difficult but it was OK. We made it through.

Then, not magically or with any fanfare, but slowly and quietly these past days, I’ve felt something lift. It’s not a lot, but the heaviness feels just a little lighter. We made it through one year. We’ll be able to make it through another.

I feel like I’m finally settling into a place of comfort with my grief. In Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian has a burden he carries around. By the grace of God that burden falls away when he comes to the cross. I thank God that burden of death is taken away when I look to the cross, but I know that as long as I live I will carry this other burden of grief. When Lydia first died, it was heavy and cumbersome and back-breaking. Now, it’s lighter and easier to carry as I’ve become more familiar with it. I know (at least I hope) that as we move forward it will get lighter and easier, but I don’t think it will ever not be there. Maybe it will get to be a mostly empty backpack slung across my shoulders, or maybe it will be a little wallet that only comes out with me on some days, but it will always be there. I’m understanding that now. I feel like I’m finally learning to live my life carrying this grief with me. And praise Jesus He is there to help me carry it, no matter the weight. How I long for the day when I come to my true home and cast it off forever.

But until then, I will carry on. I will think of her every day and be thankful. I will wish that she was with us wherever we go. I will write her name in the sand on a beach where I wish I could have seen her running around collecting rocks on Mother’s Day. I will let my heart rejoice in the prospect of new things and new life on this earth, but even more I will rejoice that there is a Savior and a heaven and a sweet little girl who wait for me when my days on this earth are done.

Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.