This weekend, we met David and Nancy Guthrie - the first people we’ve encountered in real life who have walked this road, first with their daughter Hope, then with their son Gabriel. Nancy did an incredible job speaking at the seminar on Saturday. Lydia and I snuggled in a comfy chair in the basement nursery and watched on a TV screen as Nancy recounted the days of Hope’s life and the many things she learned and has learned since then. I cried.
There were a lot of things that I learned and realized this weekend and I’m sure in the days to come as I process them more, you’ll hear all about them. But seeing Nancy, alive after what has happened and not just living but thriving and ministering, I came to a realization.
I can do this.
My heart will crack open from the loss of my sweet girl. But I can do this.
I will feel empty, hollow, purposeless. But I can do this.
There is a valley coming that I cannot see the bottom of and a darkness through which I cannot yet see the light. But I can do this.
There is pain more real than any I’ve known and at times it will feel easier to let go of my own life because it is too much to bear. But I can do this.
And I won’t have to do it alone, for I know that my Redeemer lives.
In August of 2009 God changed our lives by giving us a beautiful little girl. Lydia was born with Zellweger Syndrome. Lydia went to be with Jesus in April of 2010. This is the story of her life and death, and of our journey through grief in search of healing.
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
ReplyDeleteYou can do this because Christ lives in you. I know it.
You can do this! And you will. I promise.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone can do this, its you. God will equip you with all the strength you need to draw others closer to Him.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I wanted to tell you my pastor's wife (I believe I have talked about her to you before) wanted to let you know that she reads your blog and you were heavy on her heart this past week. She didn't feel comfortable commenting, but she wanted you to know how much you are speaking words that are echoed in her own heart and that she is praying for you. I told her what an encouragement you have been to me and how proud I am to call you my friend.
You can do this because you are not alone. You are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses- both seen and unseen, those who know you and those who don't- but would be so blessed, like I am, if they did.
You can do this because God only gives us what we can bear.
ReplyDeleteamen!! love you!
ReplyDelete